‘Sex between women has been envied, outlawed, hidden, packaged, glamorized, erased, pathologized, and obsessed over... Yet women continue to desire each other.’
(Felice Newman, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book)
Queer women’s sex and sexuality is expansive, it is powerful, it is explorative, it is messy, and it is uniquely ours! Many of us have fumbled our way through sexual encounters for lack of guides and examples.
To be a lesbian, bisexual, or queer woman – irrespective of what genitals we are born with or have – is a lesson in trial and error. We often don’t have access to examples or guidebooks on what our sex can look like, or even how to go on dates or initiate sex!
Word on the Sheets aims to speak to queer pleasure, sex and intimacy, as well as provide factual and relevant sexual health information about STIs, sexual health checks, and tips on how to navigate health systems. It will also provide a space for LGBTQ+ women to share their own experiences and learn from each other, in the FAQ and blog sections.
By and for queer women
Our sex does not look a certain way, and there is no one way of doing it. In this resource, we are trying to provide information that is useful and practical for people who did not see themselves reflected in state mandated ‘sex education’ and continue to be left out of mainstream sexual health information and guidelines. This resource is created by queer women for all queer women, and those who love them!
History of LGBTQ+ women
There are multiple historical forces that have shaped the lack of visibility of, and lack of information for, LGBTQ+ women in this country. It is impossible to speak about the history of Australia without acknowledging the fact that it has been shaped by the brutal legacies of British colonisation.
The British brought racism, patriarchy, a binary gender system, and queerphobia to Australia.
Homosexual activity between men or ‘sodomy’ was illegal in Australia from 1788 to 1994 (punishable by execution or life in prison). Sex between women, however, has never been illegal in this country, perhaps because the men who wrote the law could not conceive of the fact that women can and do have sex with each other.
Society has taught most women that we are objects of sexual desire, not active sexual agents. Our sexuality, pleasure, or sexual health has never been a priority.
We need only to look to medicine and the health care system for examples of patriarchy in action – that most medical studies have been conducted by male researchers on with male participants, that the burden of contraception is on women, the staggering rates of misdiagnosis among women, the list goes on.
As a result of these forces, LGBTQ+ women’s pleasure and sex has historically been invisible.
Terminology and our bodies
‘Not all girls have vulvas, and not all vulvas have girls.’
(Alison Moon, Girl Sex 101)
The way we understand and talk about ourselves is constantly evolving, and we acknowledge that despite our best efforts, language will never perfectly encompass the experiences of everyone in our communities. To speak to all women who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, plus (LGBTQ+) is already an incredibly difficult undertaking as our experiences are vast and varied. For brevity, queer is sometimes used on this website as shorthand for, and synonymous with, LGBTQ+. We recognise that this term too, is imperfect and may not resonate with the experiences of all LGBT women, due to the pejorative historical connotations of the term.
Queer women come in all shapes, sizes, and colours. We know that our communities expand beyond the limits that the word ‘woman’ can reach. However, when we use this term, we use it with the understanding that women can be cis or trans. We also acknowledge that there are non-binary lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals and asexuals who do not identify as women! While the term ‘woman’ may not encapsulate your gender identity or expression, we hope that this resource will still have value to anyone who loves, or makes love with, women!
Diversity of sexual partners and practices
LGBTQ+ women have sex with everyone! We are a diverse group that has even more diverse sexual partners and practices. Notably, even those of us who identify as lesbian may have had, or continue to have, sex with men – some of whom have sex with other men. This is particularly relevant and important when navigating our sexual health practices.
Read more about LBQ women’s sexual partners and practices in SWASH survey reports.
